dear bernie claus

[rod anode]

dear bernie i would like some money for my town for christmas so they can pave my road so when i wash my van at night it will stay clean for longer than 1 minute and the sand from the road wont get into my brakes and make my rotors look like a record and my kids can ride thier bikes on it and not worry about hitting pothole and fall over dear bernie i know you can do this i have seen you deliver butloads of money to other causes?so please mr claus wont you pave my road tonight?

[Thor]

Dear Little Ed,

      While I completely understand your wish for a paved road, there are some other options that have to be considered. First off, there is a very limited amount of money available to pave roads. With that said, we also have to keep things fair, and it would not be fair for us to pave your road in Fletcher, when you already have the luxury of driving on paved roads that are close to your home. So, you should be thankful that some of your roads are paved instead of asking for more to be paved. We have decided, in keeping with universal fairness, that we will pave one road in an east african country (to be named at a later date), with the funding that we have. But just so you don't feel slighted or shorted.... we will dig up all of the paved roads in Franklin County, so that everything is fair for everyone in your town and county. Additionally, because you are a successful business man, we will be increasing your taxes, so we can pave that road in the east african country and dig up your paved county roads. I would think that if we take your rate up to 50% federal taxes, that should be sufficient for now. You don't mind working for us half of the time do you!!!? Because things have to be fair and we need you that are working to contribute just a little bit more.

                                                                                                                              Mr. Socialist Claus

[nhibbard]

thank you both for making my day. Roads came up at the last Selectboard meeting. You should make an appointment to let them know you needs. I knew it cost a lot to pave a road but there is also maintaining. I believe there was a request to have a prioritized list of road work done up and they are working on budgets this month.

[rod anode]

hahahahahahaha thor ,I have a riddle for you ,what do you get when you grade muddy roads?

[nhibbard]

Not sure, other than more mud.

[rod anode]

exactly!!!! not to hard to figure out at least thats my opinion

[Thor]

Ed,

      After deep consideration of your dilemma, I had thought about trying to help you out with new rotors for the van. But, then I thought, hell, we are all going over the cliff, so you won't be needing any brakes anyway!! Then I thought about getting you some coal.... but the EPA shut me down on that. So in the end, I am going to get you some really good mudflaps for your van. Because you live off of a finely graded muddy road!!

                                                                                                                   Mr. Socialist Claws

PS: If possible, could you please send your tax money in early, so we can waste it before we go over the cliff? Many thanks.

[Stand Alone Defense]

Dear Little Ed,

      While I completely understand your wish for a paved road, there are some other options that have to be considered. First off, there is a very limited amount of money available to pave roads. With that said, we also have to keep things fair, and it would not be fair for us to pave your road in Fletcher, when you already have the luxury of driving on paved roads that are close to your home. So, you should be thankful that some of your roads are paved instead of asking for more to be paved. We have decided, in keeping with universal fairness, that we will pave one road in an east african country (to be named at a later date), with the funding that we have. But just so you don't feel slighted or shorted.... we will dig up all of the paved roads in Franklin County, so that everything is fair for everyone in your town and county. Additionally, because you are a successful business man, we will be increasing your taxes, so we can pave that road in the east african country and dig up your paved county roads. I would think that if we take your rate up to 50% federal taxes, that should be sufficient for now. You don't mind working for us half of the time do you!!!? Because things have to be fair and we need you that are working to contribute just a little bit more.

                                                                                                                              Mr. Socialist Claus

WOW This pretty much defines the democratic party to a T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL