Today I Pick Up My Turkey - No More Great Turkey Hunts For Me

Well, as I get a bit older, I can't spend half a day looking for just the right turkey for Thanksgiving, so what I did this year, as I did last year is went down to The Steeple Market and told Dwayne I wanted to get a turkey that weighed about 26 pounds. I didn't ask the price as I was not price shopping, I was size shopping. Today, after the 11 a.m. Mass, Mary Kay and I will stop down at Steeple's and pick up the turkey and bring it home.

Back in 2004, things were a little different - Its amazing what 7 years can do to you once you enter those Golden Years. Below is a little journal of what I did to get my Thanksgiving Turkey back in 2004:

Hi All,

Well, I went on a Turkey Hunt yesterday. Donned my hunting garb, which included my winter jacket and tuke. Unfortunately, I forgot my winter mittens. My first stop was at Costco. They literally had hundreds of frozen Butterball Turkeys out. I had two objectives:

1. It must be a Butterball

2. It should weigh about 24 pounds

Now my glasses are photo-grey, so when I come in from the outside, it looks like I am wearing shades, but I must admit, I must have been an impressive sight as I pawed through the many, many frozen turkeys in my old winter jacket (put on the wrong one), my winter tuke and shades. I also noticed I was wearing my old shoes with the hole in the toe, but Oh Well!!!, didn’t see anyone I knew anyway. One thing I will remember next year is Wear Mittens!!!

Well, after going through every turkey in the bin, none even approached my 24 pound goal. One of the Costco employees was unloading another pallet of frozen Butterballs I knew he was trying to ignore me, but finally got his attention to ask, “Any 24 pounders?” Not even glancing at the pallet, in a typical Vermont fashion he replied, “Nope.”

So, it was on to Shaw’s across the street. Never go there as I find them way overpriced. Found another big bin of Butterball Turkeys, but noticed the sign $1.29 a pound unless you have a reward card. Check my Shaw’s card and it was not a reward card, then glanced up at the Customer Service and saw the line. Decided, no need of going through that, unless they have a 24 pound Butterball. Once again, pawed through the bin, while others waited impatiently to do the same. No 24 pounders here either as I exited the store blowing on my frozen hands “God, I wished had brought the mittens.”

On to the Dorset Street Hannafords where once again I pawed through that bin of Frozen Butterballs. Found none, so decided, I spend a lot of money here, I’ll just ask the guy refilling the meat case. Obviously he wasn’t in charge of Frozen Butterballs and told me to go to the meat counter. Checked with the manager at the meat counter and as I was asking him if he had any 24 pound Butterballs, the guy that was refilling the meat cases came back in. The meat manager asked him to go back in the freezer and check for a 24 pound frozen Butterball. The guy looked at me, not necessarily in a friendly way and went off to the freezer. I knew the answer before he came back as he smugly told me, “No, no 24 pounders.”

Well, now it was off to Price Chopper in the Old Sears Mall on Shelburne Road. Went through the bin of frozen Butterballs and no success, so decided I would skip the middle-man this time and went directly to the Meat Manager. She was an older woman, rather surly looking and not doing anything, so I knew she had to be the meat manager. Asked the question I had asked so many times before and she looked around the meat-cutting department and spotted this young kid who apparently must have been the newest employee. Lucky him, he got to go out to the freezer and check for me. When he came back he told me that “No, they didn’t have a 24 pounder, but they had another shipment coming in on Friday.” Ya Right, I’m coming back down on Friday.

Well, I had one more choice, The Hannaford Store on Shelburne Road Always a joy to go to. My hands were still blue from pawing through hundreds of Frozen Butterballs, but went through these anyhow. All at once, I noticed a tag that said 21.79 pounds.

Close enough he exclaimed, ‘ere he drove out of sight Happy Thanksgiving to all, this one’s just right

Have a great day,
Henry