Henry Raymond’s Eulogy Feb 2, 2019

[mkr]

Henry's Eulogy:

Good Morning I am Mike Empey, Henry’s son in-law. Let me start by offering to you the sincere thanks of Henry’s children Lynn, Sharon, Mary Kay and Cory; and that of the rest of his extend family for joining us here today to celebrate his life.

We also offer thanks to the Fairfax Rescue Squad, the McClure Miller Respite House, and the Fairfax Senior Luncheons membership. The family says a special thank you to dad’s best friend Deacon Steve Ratte, and Father Furhman for the mass in his room at the hospice and their visits to comfort Henry. I could spend a long time up here thanking many other individuals but if you knew Henry Raymond I am sure he expressed his gratitude and thankfulness for a kindness no matter how small or simply for being his friend whenever you last saw him.

If you truly knew Henry Raymond you know he was not a man to seek praise and tributes. Henry in the most respectful and heartfelt way I can express it was a simple man. He had simple tastes but a rich love for his Faith, his Family, and his Community.

Henry started life simply on his parent’s farm on Fairfield Ridge. He never described farm life as a hardship he just talked about it in his matter of fact easygoing style, occasionally chuckling at some humorous anecdote that came to mind as he talked. One of his stories had a quote about the day they moved to the ridge, he said “I remember it was raining, and I wasn’t all that impressed”.

He always spoke fondly of his mother Mary, and all that she did to provide for her children, she nurtured his deep faith in god and helped him learn all his prayers to make 1st communion in the first grade. I saw firsthand the love and respect, he had for Memiere as she neared the end of her life. He always spoke lovingly of his Dad Edos who was the subject of many of his stories on the VTGRANDPA website (which MK plans to maintain). He had a happy childhood with his older sister Agnes and baby sister Theresa who he continued to care for their entire lives.

As much as he loved the simple farm life it was not for him, probably because gentle soul that he was, he could not bear the necessary tasks that processing animals takes, either that or per his descriptions he was weary of the unending battle with the rocks on the ridge. He kicked around at a few different jobs after he graduated high school and eventually he would go to work for the IBM plant in Essex Junction in 1957 as part of the original group of hires.
 
Henry worked his way up the ranks at IBM over the years so he could provide all the best for his girls. He was very proud to have worked at IBM for 35 years, and after retiring helped to set up the 50th anniversary celebration of the Essex Junction plant. During his later years one of Henry’s great pleasures was to go out to lunch with his retired IBM friends and reminisce about their days together.

Not long after he started at IBM his folks bought the farm on the Fletcher Road in Fairfax, which is Cambridge to the post office and E911 but you dare not say he lived in Cambridge).  In no time he was courting a Fairfax girl from Buck Hollow named Maryann Hoben, who he married in 1960. Henry and Maryann had just shy of 50 wonderful years of marriage producing 3 strong, intelligent ladies; That 4 to 1 ratio could be tough on Henry, I still remember the photo from our wedding album in 1984 of Henry using his reflection in the glass of the dining room hutch as a mirror to shave and do his tie.

Let me share with you some thoughts his daughters have about him:
Lynn says Three words to describe my Dad are: Photos, Gratitude, and Sweetie. My Dad always took Photos. He drove us nuts on Christmas morning making us wait till the lights were just right so he could have those photos. The best photo story though was the one that didn't happen. For my parents 25th Anniversary they took a special trip to Florida. They traveled all over, saw family, went to the attractions and of course, took so very many photos. So many in fact that at one point Dad started wondering how many pictures he could take on that roll of film? It was right after that he opened the camera to find he never put any film in it. My parents laughed about that for the rest of their lives. Gratitude: Whether it was having a Mass said because he received a promotion at work, or one of us girls found a job, he instilled in us the importance of being grateful, always modeling for us how important it was to be thankful. Throughout his life he always said thank you and showed his appreciation for the kindness and service of others. His final days spent at the McClure Miller Respite House he continued to thank the nurses who brought him medication, the volunteers who brought him ginger ale or the LNAs who loving swabbed his mouth when he was parched. He was moved and touched by the smallest gestures and he also showed us how to appreciate one another. Sweetie: My Dad, like most Dad's would sometimes call us girls by each other's name. However he learned that he could pretty much get around that issue by referring to us as Sweetie. I loved being called Sweetie by my Dad. Always that, and an “I love you” and a kiss when we left too. I will miss that, the sincerity and heartfelt love that soaked his voice each time he used that word for one of us girls

Sharon said Three words that come to mind when she thinks of Dad are family, faithful and humor
There was nothing more important to my Dad then spending time with his family and he was always there to support us in every endeavor. Whether it was driving me to babysitting jobs, arranging for a physics tutor from IBM or helping me shop for my first new car he was always there providing support and making sure I knew how much he loved me and how proud he was of my accomplishments.
When I bought my first home, Dad made the trip down to help me settle in. Now mind you my Dad was not use to the crazy roads and traffic that surrounded my new home in Methuen Massachusetts. To help him find my house my Mom was talking to him on his cell phone directing him (speaker phone of course as there was no way Dad would take either hand off the steering wheel). We spent the next few days getting me unpacked and settled.  Before he headed for home, we took a trip into East Boston to pick up the remaining few things at my old apartment and of course we made a stop at the neighborhood bakery for some fresh made old-fashioned donuts. There are few donuts that compare to my Memiere’s but according to Dad “these were almost as good”.
My Dad’s faith has always been inspiring to me. From my earliest memories no matter what the challenge, my Dad always maintained his faith and knew that whatever happened it was God’s plan. During the last few weeks he found great strength and comfort from his faith, especially after a visit from Fr. Furman, Deacon Steve or one of the chaplains at the Respite House.  His faith helped me to be strong during these most difficult days.
My Dad’s sense of humor was so endearing and typified who he was. There are so many stories we could tell but one of our favorites is from when we were camping at Metcalf Pond. One night we were awakened by my Mother telling Dad that there was a bat flying around in the camp. My Dad took to the task of removing the bat and after some time, we heard the door open and close then Dad returned to bed. Years later as we talked about the “bat incident” my Dad sat quietly in his chair smiling and when asked if he got the bat out of the house he just shrugged his shoulders, smiled and said “I didn’t see it”.
The hugs and loving words of support, the twinkle in his eyes, his smile and countless stories are all things I will miss. The thoughtful, generous and hardworking spirt he showed in everything he did is something I hope to exemplify in my own life. No one could ask for better parents then my Mom and Dad and I take great comfort in knowing they are reunited and will be watching over me.

Mary Kay had the following to say Family, Faith, and Community: Dad led by example in all of these. He never wavered in his priorities.
Things that make me smile and I will miss are the little things, as a wonderful life is built on all the little things as I learned from my parents.
For example, Dad and I had our monthly email swaps about our VT Electric Coop bills to see who could have the smallest bill. We would banter back and forth as to why ours was higher that month. I’d say “Well I had a friend stay or Dad would say well the holidays, the Christmas lights, and the kids were here” We always cringed when we would look at the July and August bill because of our AC’s.
The big smile on his face when I would come home from work and say “Would you like to go for a ride to Jeffersonville for a Maple Creemee?” I never heard a no to that question ever in my life. His love of maple and Cabot cheddar cheese were also passed on down to me.
I will miss the messages throughout the day on how he was doing or news he heard or what he had at senior luncheon and how he was looking forward to seeing me after work.
Being Justice of the Peace together with Dad was an honor and a pleasure. He was so proud of my work with the rec department as well, and would talk to me about how he was the first zoning administrator for the town of Fairfax and the challenges that came with it.
Most importantly: Being with him and caring for him over his later years are priceless memories I will never forget. I pray everyone can experience and cherish the gift of time like I did with my Dad

As we all consoled each other this past week one thing all of us remembered about Dad was his obsession over the perfect Thanksgiving Turkey, Thanks giving was undoubtedly one of his favorite days of the year which makes sense because it was a chance for the family to come together. But the turkey! The turkey had to be a Butterball, and to be perfect it should be 26 pounds. I scoured his files (100s) but couldn’t find the original Turkey mania story on VTGRANDPA which means it likely was published before 2003. Dad wrote explaining his day long quest driving all over Franklin and probably parts of Chittenden county looking for the perfect 26# Butterball turkey, including what the necessary attire for the hunt was, a good pair of gloves and his touk, for leaning into freezers and sorting through several hundred turkeys looking for that perfect bird. He detailed his frustration with repeatedly being presented with subpar store brand and otherwise non-Butterball turkeys. He detailed for us the looks of bewilderment or disinterest of many a teenage stock clerk or seasoned meat manager at the obsessed Septuagenarian having to repeatedly point out to them “this isn’t a Butterball” only to be answered with ‘its all we got”. I am pretty sure in a number of cases he was allowed into the highly restricted frozen Turkey storage areas to “look for yourself”. I can’t remember where he finally found it, but he did, and as always it was a wonderful meal. What we got was the treasure of the story demonstrating his love for his family. He wrote about Turkeys every year but nothing topped the 1st great turkey hunt.

While Henry loved to tell a funny story that was not his only comedic trick, as his grandson Sammy pointed out to us Grampa loved to roll a provocative grenade into the room and stand back. Like when he would innocently say around Mom “Boy that Oksana Byoul is something else isn’t she”. Knowing full well Mom despised the Russian skater. It was never mean spirited just Henry messing with her.  Sam noted while Gramp could be a real wise guy, he also was accepting of all people. He’d occasionally be a little flustered because he was afraid he’d mistakenly say the wrong thing an offend someone.

Henry’s faith in god was one of the cornerstones of his life he attended daily mass for as long as he could. His daily mass attendance actually helped Lynn and I be welcomed in our community. When Sammy was born almost 10 weeks prematurely Mom and Dad moved in with us in Bellows Falls lock, stock, and barrel to look after older Grandson little Henry. Bumpa as the boys called him attended daily Mass at St Charles Parish getting to know all the folks in the Rosary Society which apparently was all the in we’d ever needed.. His faith was amazing if something was going wrong in life or one of his kids or family members was hurting, or were waiting on some break or opportunity you can bet Mom and Dad were saying the Rosary on it as their faith was so deep.  I know my son Henry told Dad outright in his final years more than once “Gramp I wish I could have the faith you do”.

Henry loved Fairfax and loving Fairfax means loving its people. Dad loved to visit with people, he loved to explore the area photographing everything and anything. He quietly assisted many young people that he met through his daughters, and even took one in as a son.  In his retirement he quietly, and unassumingly took on a number of projects for the community including digitizing all the vital records, starting his electronic bulletins, and was a JP for decades. He was a skilled genealogist and from around the world people sought his information. A very telling story in the archives of his online bulletin boards was titled: Your Family Genealogy – A Great Gift for Your Children his genealogy was a gift to share. There is a photo of Dad receiving a Joint Resolution from the Vermont Legislature at Town meeting in 2008 if you study that photo you can see that while he was moved, he was also uncomfortable as I have said he did not seek praise or tribute, he just saw things needed to be done and did them.

The last couple months were a physical nightmare for Dad yet through it all he maintained his faith, his love of family, and love of his community. His pain was borne with dignity and heartfelt prayers.  For his children and grandchildren the pain of losing him is somewhat lessened with the vision of Mom coming to take him into Gods Kingdom with her. For me personally I keep thinking that Jesus welcomed him with a quote from Matthew (25:21) that recognizes his commitment to faith, family, and community that quote ends as follows

 “Well done thou good and faithful servant”,

For all of us let me say one last time, Well done Henry, well done!