The Titus (Irish) Family - Hard Telling, Not Knowing

Lisa Boucher, Our Fairfax St. Albans Messenger Correspondent wrote an article in tonight's (February 1, 2008) edition of The St. Albans Messenger - I would ask you to take a few minutes to read this article about a family facing some real struggles - Many of you know The Irish Family - Ike, Howard, Austin and many others:

Photo courtesy of Titus family (Scanned from The St. Albans Messenger)
Jeff and Lorraine Titus couldn't have imagined what awaited them in their life together when they were married (above) in 1994. They and their son, Ryan, 13, are moving ahead with courage as Jeff today battles a progressive cancer of the white blood cells. Rather than a protracted and debilitating battle with no guarantee of a cure, Jeff chose to enjoy as much of life as possible with his family.

Hard telling, not knowing

Life and death decisions for family

By LISA M. BOUCHER, Messenger Correspondent

When Jeff and Lorraine (Irish) Titus, fell in love and married in 1994, like most young newly weds they anticipated their future of having a home, starting a family, and eventually growing old together.

The couple moved to the Titus family farm in Charlotte where they became part of Vermont's proud and hard working farming network, productive members of their community, and parents of a son, Ryan.

Within a few years, however, Lorraine began experiencing health issues requiring surgeries that resulted in complications. It took several years for her to regain her health.

Low milk prices, along with the increasing expense of operation, convinced the Titus family it was time to get out of the farming business. The livestock and some of the equipment were auctioned off a couple of years ago. The couple soon moved off the family farm to a home of their own in New Haven.

Starting life over—with a new home and jobs, the little family was happy and doing well for awhile, when they took yet another blow, this one rocking the foundation a little harder.

After only about six months in their new home, Jeff was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML), a progressive cancer of the white blood cells. The ultimate goal and hope is for treatment to produce an indefinite remission of the disease.

In the past year, since his initial diagnosis on Jan. 31, 2007 he has undergone a series of intensive chemotherapy treatments that made him extremely ill, but managed to put the disease into remission for a few months—long enough for Jeff to enjoy the summer with his family.

"He got so severely sick at one point, we thought we were actually going to lose him," said Lorraine. "There was a point where he decided that he'd rather live his life and be with his family and not be in the hospital sick all summer, nearly dying." It was around this time that Jeff learned that the AML was in remission, which turned out to be very short.

Even though the AML returned in September and his doctors gave him a prognosis that Jeff has chosen not to share, he decided to once again forego any further treatment, choosing to live whatever is left of his life, in the best way he can, spending his time with family instead of medical personnel.

According to Lorraine, the short remission period is unusual given the intensity of the chemotherapy Jeff underwent and further treatment would likely only result in a remission period half as long as the first, that is if he could tolerate and survive the treatment.

So, Jeff chose his life to be free from the bonds chemotherapy would produce.

"Jeff chose not to worry about it and not focus on the time frame they gave him," Lorraine said. "He's just going to live his life and do what he can to keep himself well naturally. So far he's doing OK, he's not great, he's still progressing, but he's doing good."

He is trying to maintain optimum health with supplements and "juicing," that is, making his own natural juices from whole fruits and vegetables, creating nutrient rich drinks, without all of the added sugars and preservatives.

"We had a person we knew, who went through a similar thing. He did everything he could do," said Jeff regarding his own personal decision.

"He ended up dying in the hospital and didn't have any time with his family, because he was always going to all of these treatments. So, I think it was the right choice for us. I haven't regretted it."

Jeff also pointed out that had he decided to undergo treatments over the summer as planned, he would have been stuck in the house, because he wouldn't be able to go out in the sun, due to a side affect of the medications used that causes the skin to burn easily. This was not acceptable to the farmer and lover of the outdoors, as he still likes to spend time at the farm, which he did with his son, they had a good summer.

"I think that was the most important part," said Lorraine. "He said at one point, 'You're telling me I should go all through these things, because I could have all of this time at another time in my life to do what I love doing, but you can't guarantee me that.' That's what he told the doctors. He said 'I may never get to drive a tractor again, I may never get to bale hay again with my family, I may never get to do all the things that I love doing, which is farming.' So it was not worth what he may get for what he was going to lose right then and there."

If the AML wasn't enough, the Tituses found themselves out of work and unable to cover their living expenses. Fortunately, Lorraine's brother Howard has been able to step in and assist the couple. Lorraine has since found another job not far from home, but it's still not enough to take care of everything.

Jeff, who is home schooling son Ryan, says he has some difficulty sleeping for extended periods, so he naps when needed. He has some pain related to the AML, but currently doesn't take anything stronger than ibuprofen when he needs to.

Ryan, 13, is fortunate to be able to spend these days together with his father. Having lived on the farm most of his young life and being home schooled, Ryan has had a luxury of time with Jeff that will likely be a treasure for him to look back on forever. "For the most part, he has a reasonable understanding of death and dying. We are very honest and tell him what he needs to know, when he needs to know it," said Lorraine. "We make sure that he has an opportunity to share how he is feeling, a lot. As long as Jeff is doing OK and things are as normal as they can be, for the most part, he's pretty good. He recently wrote a wonderful story that was published in the Charlotte News that gives you insight into how he sees things and what he understands about his dad's situation."

Austin Irish. Lorraine's younger brother, aware that older sibling, Howard wouldn't be able to continue to assist his sister and brother-in-law much longer knew he needed to do something for his family. As chairman of the fundraising committee for Cambridge Volunteer Fire Department, Austin had an idea to hold a benefit dance.

"I figured that could probably make more money than I could (personally) help with," he said. Having planned two previous dances for the CFD in the past, Irish knew which doors to knock on and the numbers to call, the planning went without a hitch.

Lorraine and Jeff are impressed with her younger brother's efforts and realize how important it has become to him. "He knows where we're at and what we've been through as a family," she said. "He's really put his heart and soul into this."

As with many people who are forced to face these circumstances, Lorraine views life with a calm realism, and said without bitterness, "Things are going to go how they are going to go. We are literally enjoying everyday and some things just aren't so important anymore."

Benefit dance in Fletcher tomorrow, February 2, 2008

The dance to benefit the Titus family will be Saturday night from 8 p.m. - 12 a.m. at the Ftetcher Elementary School. Admission is $10; donations can be mailed to Austin Irish PC Box 502, Jeffersonville, VT 05464